Proper second wedding etiquette to make your second wedding the most perfect day of your life.

Getting married for the second time? There's every opportunity to make a second wedding beautiful, romantic and special in its own way. If you plan it right, it can be better than the first! Certainly, it will be different, because there's a very special etiquette to second weddings. You are probably already wondering about a number of issues.

How big should your second wedding be?

Weddings between people who have been married before are, as a rule, smaller and less formal or lavish affairs than a first marriage. However, there is nothing to say that it has to be that way. Many second timers are marrying someone for whom it is the first time. In that case, it might be unfair to limit the celebration to family and close friends. Naturally, you'll want to be gracious about whom you invite.

The wording of your second wedding invitation is another point to consider.

According to etiquette specialist Emily Post, there are two options for wording a traditional wedding invitation correctly. The first applies to a young bride or divorcee, in which case her parents extend the invitation as though it were a first wedding using the bride-to-be's married name if she has retained it, or her first and middle name if not. For a more mature encore bride-to-be, it is appropriate to issue the invitation in your own name and the name of your future husband. Click here to see examples of second wedding invitations.

To whom should you send a printed second wedding announcement?

If you intend to have a small wedding, you will want to send printed announcements to the family and friends who were not included among the wedding guests, or in the case of a larger wedding, to acquaintances and business associates who were not invited. Plan to have the announcements mailed the day after you are married. Click here to see options for wording a formal announcement.

You want to look beautiful, but what's considered appropriate second wedding etiquette when it comes to a second wedding dress?

Once upon a time, it was considered inappropriate for encore brides to wear white or a long wedding dress. A simple suit or dress in a pastel color or off-white was recommended. However, today you may wear white, because it is the color of joy and celebration and no longer represents chastity. While a beautiful bridal gown is perfectly acceptable, consider your age and figure before you make your selection. A woman over forty will look far more elegant in a dress that isn't frilly or too long. (If Liz Taylor were to don a long, white dress at this stage of her life for yet another wedding, the guests might well titter as she walks down the aisle.) While it is preferable for an encore bride to forego the veil, you may want to wear one for religious reasons.

If the bride is wearing a formal wedding gown, the groom may wear a classic tuxedo or a dark suit. If, however, the bride is attired in a less formal suit or dress, the groom would most likely want to wear a suit, rather than a formal tuxedo.

Should others be included in the wedding party?

It is quite common for couples getting remarried to dispense with the wedding party, if that means numbers of bridesmaids and groomsmen, unless it is a first wedding for one or the other of them.

If the bride has been given away by her father at a previous wedding, it would seem silly for him to give her away again. But it is perfectly acceptable for the bride and groom each to ask a very close friend or relative to stand with them during the ceremony.

If there are children and/or stepchildren involved, finding a place for them in the bridal party is a nice way to make them feel a part of the new family. A young boy can serve as ring bearer; while a young girl can be a flower girl. Older children may wish to accompany their parents to the altar as best man or maid of honor.

Selecting engagement and wedding rings.

A diamond engagement ring is always appropriate! And it is important to understand how to buy a diamond whether or not it's your first. Your husband-to-be may be better off financially now than a first-time groom and, therefore, it is even more important to understand how to buy a diamond that represents a greater investment. You'll want to brush up on the 4Cs and how to determine the brilliance (or beauty) of the diamond you select. Most likely, you will want a different setting or perhaps a three-stone ring this time around. You may even choose a diamond center stone flanked by smaller colored stones, such as sapphires, rubies or emeralds. Either way, the classic diamond is the most popular choice of brides, no matter how many marriages they have had.

When you choose your wedding band, you'll want to be sure to select one that looks right with your engagement ring. Most important is that the two are designed in the same precious metal. (A yellow gold wedding band would detract from a platinum or white gold engagement ring setting and vice versa.) Today, many brides are selecting a diamond wedding band to complement their engagement rings.

Whether or not the bridegroom wears a wedding band is purely a matter of choice. If he does, you may want to choose a ring that matches your own, but is obviously wider. Many couples choose to engrave the inside of the shank with a message-or sentiment -- that is meant to be seen only by them. That's up to you.

Learn what to look for when searching for the perfect engagement or wedding ring.

Will you be planning a religious ceremony?

When planning a religious ceremony, the same issues come into play for any marriage whether it is a first or a subsequent. If the bride and groom share the same religion, there is no question. If, however, it is a marriage between two people of different religions, there are a number of ways to proceed, such as having clergy of each faith officiate at the ceremony. Annulment, conversion, and deciding in what religion to raise the children are important issues to discuss well in advance of the wedding.

What is proper second wedding etiquette when it comes to who should pay for the wedding?

If the bride has never been married before, traditionally her parents would assume most of the costs of the wedding, although in modern times it is not unusual for the groom's family to help with the costs or for the bride and groom themselves to pay or help pay for some of the expenses. The fact is that 40 percent of today's couples assume the responsibility for paying for their wedding, especially when it is not their first marriage.

It's a good idea to determine a budget you are both comfortable with before making any wedding plans. You'll need to agree on your priorities before you move forward to avoid beginning your marriage with a disagreement or worse yet with outstanding debt

Receiving gifts the second time around.

Many couples who are getting married for the second time already have a full complement of silver, china, crystal and other gifts including linens and kitchenware. In fact, most people need to edit their collections so they can combine households without having two of everything cluttering their new home.

If you have sterling silver or fine linens with a monogram on them, how will your new husband feel about an initial that represents your former husband's last name? The answer is to ask him. Silver, especially, is ultra expensive to replace these days. Many people buy antique silver with monograms other than their own and don't even think about it. But, ultimately, it's a decision you both should feel comfortable about.

You may feel uncomfortable asking people to give you gifts the second time around . You can mention to friends and relatives that you would prefer it if people did not feel obliged to provide a gift and ask them to pass the message along . It is not appropriate to add a "no gifts please" message on your invitation as it tends to emphasize the gift. If new friends wish to give you a gift, they may ask your older friends and relatives for ideas. You can offer up a few fun and inexpensive gifts for them to suggest, but only if asked.

Should you change your name when you remarry?

While a more traditional bride usually opts to take her husband's last name as her own, it is perfectly acceptable in today's world for her to retain her own name or use a hyphenated form, i.e. Amy Wetmore marries John Sullivan and becomes Amy Wetmore-Sullivan. When making this decision, however, there are a number of considerations. For example, if you have children of your own, you might prefer to retain the same last name they have to make matters simpler for them and you. Imagine that every time you make a call regarding your children, you will have to say, "Hello, this is Mrs. Sullivan, I'm Nancy Wetmore's mother. Or, it may be that your children want you to keep the same name they have for emotional reasons.

Another reason for keeping your own name may be that you are recognized by that name among business contacts. It is possible to use your own name in business, but your married name in every other part of your life.

You can always change your name at a later date, remember, by filing a petition for a name change with the court. However, the marriage license and certificate cannot be changed.

If you decide not to take your husband's name, you will undoubtedly have to find a diplomatic explanation to provide the more traditional members of both families, who may be surprised. You can point out, if questioned, that there are practical reasons for keeping your own name, but that the decision in no way reflects your feelings or attachment to your new husband and his family.

Second wedding etiquette gets tricky when you ask for or are being asked to sign a prenuptial agreement?

Pre-nuptial agreements are growing more and more common as the divorce and remarriage rates have climbed. While it is never a pleasant subject to broach, it may be necessary especially when children are involved, and should definitely be discussed early in the relationship to avoid negative feelings that might arise if one person springs it on the other shortly before the wedding.

Remember that a prenuptial agreement is not only a protection in the event of divorce, but also in the event of death. If you enter a marriage with children, you will likely want to make sure that if you die, they will be the direct recipients of assets brought into the marriage. The prenuptial agreement also serves to determine how property each person brings to the marriage would be divided in the event of divorce or death. Without an agreement of this kind, state laws will apply.

If you think of it more in terms of drawing up a will, it becomes more palatable than an agreement based on the possibility of the marriage failing.

There's obviously a lot to think about when planning your second wedding and incorporating second wedding etiquette. Do you want to plan it yourself? Would you like someone to help you with all the details? We've got lots of great advice and ideas on how to plan your wedding .