How to Propose to Her.When She's Been Married Before.

If the woman in your life is someone who's been married before, you want to propose in a way that's special and unique. Whether she's 25 or 75, you can still sweep her off her feet with a romantic proposal. Before thinking about the exact details of how you'll ask her to marry you, you need to consider a few things that are unique to second marriage proposals.

Make sure the time is right. Most professionals advise people to take at least a year after a divorce or the death of a spouse before they even begin dating again. Obviously, it takes time for people to get their bearings after a marriage ends and to regain their footing as an individual. When a beloved spouse dies, the surviving partner needs sufficient time to grieve. No matter how much in love you think you are, or how eager you are to marry, don't rush into proposing if it's too soon.

Consider the children. If one or both of you have children, be sure to tell them as soon as possible after she's accepted your proposal. Depending on their ages and family circumstances, there could be some resistance to the idea of their mother remarrying. Tread lightly here; they should come around. The important thing is to be open with them and respect them-starting now.

Consider her parents. Historically, it was common for a man to ask the father of his future bride for permission to marry. This custom survives in one form or another today, though it's more typical for a couple to ask for their parents' blessing, rather than their consent. The most important thing is to get off to a good start with your future in-laws. At the very least, share your good news with them immediately after she's accepted your proposal.

Above all, consider what kind of person she is. The way you propose to her should be a reflection of the kind of woman she is. So before you ask her to marry you, ask yourself: What are her personality and tastes? What are her likes and dislikes? Remember, this proposal is not what you want-it's all about what you think she'll want.

What kind of proposal is she dreaming of?

Since this is a second marriage for one or both of you, chances are your future bride is at a point in life where she has very definite preferences. Your job is to craft a proposal that shows you love and appreciate who she is. Here are some things to think about:

1. What type of personality does she have?
2. Does she have any particular hobbies or passions?
3. Does she like being the center of attention or does she shy away from the spotlight?
4. What would be an appropriate location for your proposal?
5. Should you have the ring with you when you propose or should you shop for it together?

Once you've answered these questions, you're better prepared to create a second-marriage proposal that will delight her.

If she loves tradition, your proposal should take this into account. Is Christmas a special time for her? Consider giving her a diamond engagement ring as a stocking stuffer!

If she appreciates originality, likes bold statements or has a particular passion in life, your proposal could be more unusual or extravagant. Maybe hire a magician to make her ring appear "out of nowhere." If she loves chocolate, place the ring in an elegant box of truffles.

If she prefers intimacy, then a one-on-one proposal will be in order. What could be nicer than inviting her for a romantic dinner at your place and cooking her favorite foods? Or paddling around your favorite pond on a beautiful summer day?

If she's a hopeless romantic, your proposal should be, too. Give her the best Valentine's Day gift ever: a marriage proposal and a beautiful diamond.

Think about setting the scene. If there's a place that holds wonderful memories, then you could plan your proposal there. If she has young children, you'll want to take her someplace romantic or fun-but definitely leave the kids home with a sitter. Whether it's a restaurant around the corner or a villa in Tuscany , the setting doesn't matter as long as it's a place she'll enjoy.

Focus on the moment and on her. The most important thing of all is to express your proposal with love and sincerity, and let her know how much she means to you. It's not important if you don't have the ring when you propose or if you can't afford a lavish backdrop. What she cares about is the way you express your love and your desire to become lifelong partners. Know what you plan to say well in advance, and make a statement that captures all that's special about her.

Select the perfect ring. If you're going to choose a ring to surprise her with, you want to be confident it's one she would have chosen for herself. When selecting a diamond, there are a variety of shapes you can choose from. The setting can be yellow gold, white gold or platinum. Engagement rings can have a traditional look or a more contemporary one. Find the one that will take her breath away.

Stay within your budget and financial capability. Of course, you want to show the woman you love how much you care, and you want to impress her. But you don't want to overextend yourself financially. So figure out what you can afford, know how you're going to pay for it and then make wise choices.

Prepare for the unexpected. If you're planning to pop the question on a secluded beach but the day brings torrential rain, you'll have to reschedule-or come up with a back-up plan. Ditto if you've invited her for a romantic weekend at a country inn and her kids come down with the flu. Very few things in life ever happen precisely as we plan them, and this is no exception. Create a contingency plan and go with the flow.