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Planning a second wedding? Organization is the key.
 Planning a second wedding involves many of the same challenges as planning a first. The fact that you're remarrying doesn't necessarily mean that you'll be downsizing your wedding. For example, if your future spouse is a first-time bride or groom, she or he may want a big wedding with all the trimmings. Look at the big picture first when planning a second wedding.
Once you and your partner agree on the type of wedding you want-whether it's small and intimate or big and lavish-you'll need to begin planning. For a large event, and especially if you're a busy person with a lot of other responsibilities, you may want to engage a wedding consultant to help.
Planning a second wedding: should you hire a wedding consultant or do it yourself?
 Wedding consultants can scout sites, advise you on etiquette, manage the budget and coordinate a whole range of people and projects, including the caterer, the music, the florist and the other service providers. They can obtain discounts and negotiate pricing with vendors. Wedding consultants have a wealth of experience in solving problems, paying attention to details and dealing with the unexpected. For this reason, they can help avert catastrophes and save you a lot of headaches.
There are many different levels of service and types of wedding planners. At one extreme, the full-fledged consultant can handle every detail for you. At the other, a wedding day coordinator is someone who will orchestrate the events of the ceremony and reception and see that things run on schedule. And there are all levels of wedding planning services in-between. Think about what kind of assistance you need. Here are some tips to help you decide if you need a wedding planner, and what kinds of services are appropriate for you.
A wedding consultant can help you:
- Select a site for the ceremony and reception.
- Find all the suppliers you need, including the florist, the caterer, the musicians, and the video and still photographers.
- Manage communication between vendors. For example, the caterer will need to know when and how to obtain access to the reception site to begin food preparation.
- Coordinate your wedding rehearsal with the person officiating.
- Supervise all the details of your wedding day.
 The cost of a wedding planner can vary widely. If you hire someone early on to coordinate most of your wedding arrangements, expect to pay this person on a fee basis (generally 10 to 20 percent of the total wedding costs). If you hire someone to provide selected services, you will probably be charged a flat fee, depending on the nature and extent of the work. The bottom line: If time is money for you, wedding consultants can be a good investment; and savvy ones will be able to pass on enough savings to defray much of their fee.
Sharing the responsibilities of planning a second wedding.
To get your remarriage off to a good start, you'll probably want to work together to make sure you agree on some wedding fundamentals. These include establishing a budget for your wedding, drawing up the guest list, planning your ceremony, writing your vows and registering for gifts.
The responsibilities in planning a wedding used to be clearly spelled out. The groom handled certain wedding-related tasks: choosing his groomsmen and their attire, buying gifts for them, scheduling the marriage license and blood tests, organizing transportation to and from the ceremony and reception, arranging for the officiant's payment, planning the honeymoon and purchasing the wedding bands. Looking for the perfect ring?
Today, however, couples rarely adhere strictly to this division of labor when planning a second wedding. The bride may be just as likely to schedule blood tests or plan the honeymoon, for example.
If you're not hiring a wedding consultant, you may want to delegate some of the responsibilities to appropriate family members and good friends. For example, if your future mother-in-law is a gourmet cook, you could ask her to research caterers and bakeries. If a friend is an avid traveler, he might be enlisted to come up with ideas for the honeymoon.
Once you've announced your remarriage, it's probably time to start planning your second wedding. Particularly during certain times of the year, popular sites and suppliers are in heavy demand. It's wise to begin a year ahead of time. If your wedding will be small, you may have some leeway here. The following timeline can be used as a guide.
At least 12 months before the wedding:
- Begin to get organized. Hire a wedding consultant, or create/buy a notebook or planner to keep track of all the details.
- Determine your budget.
- Compile the guest list.
- Research and book your suppliers, including the caterer, musicians, photographer, videographer and florist.
- If you have children, discuss the wedding with them and ask for their participation.
- Scout sites for your wedding and reception, and book them as soon as possible. Get ideas for places to hold non-traditional second weddings.
8-10 months before the wedding:
- Select your attendants and invite them to participate.
- Purchase your gown or dress. Select a veil, if desired.
- Register for gifts, if you plan to do so.
- If you're planning a destination wedding, send save-the-date cards to your guests. What are the advantages of a destination wedding?
6-8 months before the wedding:
3-4 months before the wedding:
- Finalize your guest list.
- Get your blood test.
- Schedule appointments for hair/make-up/nails for your wedding.
- If you're wearing a wedding gown, have your first fitting.
- Purchase gifts for attendants and children participating in the ceremony.
- Make plans for out-of-town guests (reserve hotel rooms, etc.).
- Purchase your wedding rings. Before you purchase your wedding rings, learn how to make a brilliant choice.
6 weeks before the wedding:
- Mail invitations.
- Have your portrait taken, if you plan to do this.
- Finalize childcare arrangements during your honeymoon.
- Announce your wedding in the newspaper, if you plan to do this.
- Have your final gown and headpiece fitting (or finalize needed alterations on your dress).
2 weeks before the wedding:
- Confirm all reservations, including honeymoon and hotel for out-of-town guests.
- Apply for your marriage license.
- Have a trial run with your hairstyle and makeup.
1 week before the wedding:
- Send thank you notes for gifts you've already received.
- Provide final headcount to the caterer.
Planning a second wedding should be a joyous occasion. Communicate with your partner about what you both truly want, plan ahead, and get help if you need it. Then enjoy your very special day.
Are you looking for information on second wedding etiquette?
See what other people did for their second wedding.
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